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|I know you see that, so don't make me wanna sue you like you were YouTube! haha j/k
(but really though)
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Timeless Truth$
"fear, uncertainty, and change are our three major food groups."
-Charlie Cook
"Vacant lots and vacant minds usually become dumping grounds for garbage."
-Croft M. Pentz
Hmmm… Interesting- WRiTTEN eLOQUENCe
- MySpace Blog
negative energy is the enemy we can’t see
and yet, we wonder why we can’t be
when we’re blinded by secrets we can’t keep
to ourselves
our hell
upon earth
is determined
by our well-
being
we need to start believing in dreams
if we ever want the means
to justify the ending
so let’s take a step by lending
out helping hands
and melding man
into one kind
I found another great excerpt today. It’s on point and actually very empowering. Don’t believe me? Read it for yourself:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, nor our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permissions to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
– Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, Harper Collins, 1992. Chapter 7, Section 3.
If we were ALL blind, and our eyes could no longer deceive us, would we still be able to recognize each other’s differences???
Mirrors should think longer before they reflect.
-Jean Cocteau
It is not WHAT we see,
but HOW we see that separates us…
WTF?! Ok, here’s the deal:
I haven’t posted up a new blog in about a week. I mean, I’ve logged on & stuff, but never really checked up too much on my WP site. And damnit, damnit, damnit — after only a week, what do I find?? MY CATEGORIES’ HIERARCHY ALL MESSED UP!!! Argh! I mean, FREAKIN’ A, man! That took FOREVER to get just right!
Ok, ok. WOOOOSAH!
It’s only a blog.
(sigh)
Ok. Well, I’m better now but I’m probably gonna just wanna start a new blog from scratch now. But I dunno if I should change the URL or what. Hmm… Well, whatever. I’ll figure it out later, when I have more free time on my hands.
Deuces, WP.
Until next time…
have the wish I wish tonight.
Where I am Right NOW…I swear, I wish I could bottle up this exact state of mind right now. & I mean NOW, as of (officially) 12:00 AM — or, if you wanna get real technical about it, as of 10:32 PM tonight.
haha but like I was saying, I REALLY wish I could capture the essence of my life right now. Well, maybe not every single little thing. I mean, in the future, I hope to be more financially stable with a great career that I love, which may or may not have developed from one of the dreams I have at this stage. But hey, do you realize that college students change their majors about 5 times before they finally decide to stick it out with one??? And even then it still isn’t guaranteed, or even likely, that they’ll pursue that field! n/j so the probability that my future career will be something way off than the picture painted in my mind now is… Well, I’m pretty indecisive person (it’s just in my nature), so those chances are pretty slim. Haha but that’s okay. I mean, I’m pretty sure — no, scratch that. I am damn sure that whatever path I do follow will be a very successful & powerful one. 
& yes, I had to include powerful, because I just… I’m just that type of female who needs to be in command, even if it’s a behind-the-scenes kinda role. You know? Anyways. so back to what I was originally saying… (sorry, I know I tend to stray from my point a lot)… I wish I could capture ME at this stage of my life because… Well, simply because I am truly happy. I have so many things going for me right now. I’m on the right path, I just KNOW it. And I’m enlightened, but still learning more & more each day. Also, even on the days I feel too lazy or things just aren’t going my way, it doesn’t matter, because somehow, I find a way to keep a big ol’ smile on my face & generate a positive energy outward. How do I know that my energy is positive & outward? Because of the people I interact with, because I can feel their energy level get lifted higher & also bounce off me. Positive energy can’t help but mix, mingle, & mesh with another positive energy — LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE (as Seth would say). 
& it is a beautiful thing, feeling, effect, & motion. If you don’t believe me, try it one day… Try to go one single day w/o letting your mood slip into any negativity whatsoever. Don’t get mad about petty stuff, or even big huge drama(s). Just brush it all off your shoulder by telling yourself that, even if things go wrong, or if things just didn’t go the way you planned/expected, it’s okay, because for some reason not yet clear to you, they were meant to happen. See negative things & problems & obstacles as blessings in disguise. You were meant to experience them & (more importantly) learn from them & from other people, too. And on the same day, try to actually stop & take in all of the things your eyes just happen to glance at & notice. It doesn’t matter if it’s even just the ground or a mark in the wall — just look at it. Then , feel the positive energy inside of you & use it to find & appreciate the beauty of your life. Be thankful that you can even see let alone breathe! Be grateful for being able to have the sound mind that can still function w/o the help of tubes & what knot hooked up to machines. Just be happy & know that you are really truly happy. Trust me — the realization will make you smile, even uncontrollably. And don’t hold it back either!!! Don’t let your insecurities about other people’s shallow misjudgments stop you from accepting & expressing your joy. And don’t let their words sting & pop your bubble. Just keep on smiling & feeling & being happy. Know that nothing & nobody in the world could bring you down from such a natural high. 
(sigh) that’s what I kinda feel like is happening with me in my daily life. I refuse to let myself get upset. And even if I do, it only lasts for a split second. Seriously, one single second — no more, no less.
(sigh) oh God, I love You. and I love me. Thank You. and thank Me, too… For there really is no place, time, or life I would rather be in than now.
[rzn] well, I do!!! here’s some articles from today’s news. (I would’ve included more, but the rest wasn’t cool and/or positive enough for me today.)
City College of S.F. trustees to debate future of Chinatown campus
Tanya Schevitz - Thursday, October 18, 2007
The board of trustees for City College of San Francisco will vote Thursday on whether to push forward or block a controversial Chinatown campus.
The seven elected trustees will decide whether to exempt the project on the northeast corner of Kearny and Washington streets from city zoning laws and allow the building to soar above height limits of 65 feet, to 172 feet.
The board will also decide if the project should go forward despite an environmental impact report that raised concerns about added traffic congestion and shadows that the new high-rise would cast across Portsmouth Square, a popular neighborhood park. And the board will vote on the final design plan. [rzn] fuck no! I cannot believe they’re trippin’ off freaking SHADOWS!!! hahaha wow.
If approved, the campus would be built by fall 2010, said City College Chancellor Philip Day Jr.
The trustees could have the final vote on the project. If they exempt the project from the city’s zoning laws, no other board would vote on whether to approve the plans.
The owners of the Hilton Hotel next door say the building would block its panoramic views. They, with local homeowners, have threatened a lawsuit if the campus is approved. They say the building is too high and that the college has not done enough to mitigate the problems. [rzn] WTF? shut up people! freakin’ haters!!! I mean, it’s a freakin’ school, for crying out loud! geez, man. I can’t believe people would actually bring a lawsuit against education. fuckin’ a. what if that was part of 850 Bryant??? (FYI, 850 is the downtown police dept. with jail cells)
Day said the school has already reduced the project’s size and made compromises that should satisfy critics.
In Chinatown Wednesday, Mayor Gavin Newsom agreed with Day, and said the wrangling over the project needs to end.
Surrounded by a crowd of project supporters carrying signs saying “Our view is education first,” and “Students’ needs, not hotel needs,” Newsom said he has tried to bring the two sides closer together. [rzn] I love you, Newsom.
“My fundamental belief is that we need to move forward with the City College campus,” said Newsom, speaking at the offices of Chinese for Affirmative Action.
The school has scaled down its original proposal for one 16-story building, Day said.
Now the plan is for two buildings, with the main one rising 13 stories to 172 feet, plus a 6-foot mechanical and electrical system on the roof.
The second, five-story building would be down the block at Columbus Avenue and Washington Street, on a lot facing Columbus behind the Colombo Building. [rzn] hey jaynee, that’s a hop, skip & a jump away! NO reason NOT to go to school now! haha
The cost of the revised design would be $137 million, or about $15 million more than the original cost projection, Day said. [rzn] wow. that’s NOTHING compared to the amounts of grants given, sometimes by the state itself, for [biotech] research.
To do that plan, however, City College would need approval by Dec. 1 from the Friends of the Colombo Building. Day believes that will happen.
Failing that, Day said, the college would increase the high-rise to 14 stories, and reduce the second building to four stories – a level already approved by the Colombo Building representatives.
Day said the new campus is needed to accommodate classrooms, a library and support services for about 6,500 students, and would provide English language classes, vocational training and general education courses. [rzn] tell me that doesn’t sound like a beautiful thing!
City College’s classrooms are now scattered across about a dozen sites in Chinatown. To better serve students, they should be consolidated in an updated facility, said David Chiu, president of the board of the Chinatown Community Development Center.
“The City College has historically been the place where recent immigrants are assimilated into our workforces and our local community. It is where they learn English,” Chiu said. “This City College campus will be so crucial for those current and future immigrant generations.”
But Charlie Goodyear, a spokesman for Justice Investors, the owners of the 310-foot Hilton Hotel next door, said that the project’s revised height can hardly be called a compromise.
“Nobody has said, ‘Don’t build anything,’” Goodyear said. “The question really is, would this type of building fit in this neighborhood? City College has only halfheartedly pursued alternatives.”
This week, the Washington-Montgomery Homeowners Association, representing nearby residents, sent a letter to the college complaining that the college has not adequately addressed the problems of building height, added traffic congestion, shadows and changes to the character of the neighborhood. The letter warned that homeowners would consider a lawsuit if the trustees approve the plans. [rzn] fuck those damn haters, too! shiiit… traffic’s a bitch EVERYWHERE downtown, so let it go people! woosah!
Trustee John Rizzo said he supports the new campus but is concerned about liability, so he is not sure how he will vote. He also has questions about the environmental impact report, which he said does not adequately explain how to avoid such problems as the Portsmouth Square shadow and neighborhood congestion.
“I just don’t want this project killed because of lawsuits,” he said. “I think there is still more that we could do.” [rzn] spoken like a pro.
Day said that cutting the buildings to the size proposed by the opponents would mean losing 20 to 25 classrooms.
“That is not going to happen,” Day said. “We went from 255 feet to 172 feet. We had a one-site plan and now we have a two-site plan. We have pushed the envelope as far as we can without compromising programs.”
Meeting today
The public meeting is at 6 p.m. Thursday at the City College Chinatown/North Beach Campus, 940 Filbert St.
This article appeared on page B – 1 of the San Francisco Chronicle
Source: SF Chronicle – Bay Area
Birth Control Allowed for Maine Middle Schoolers
By JOEL ELLIOTT – Published: October 18, 2007
[rzn] daaaaayum! and i thought Cali was supposed to be the “free love” state! haha i mean, we do host the annual Lovefest, among other freaky deaky parades. hahaha oh well, i guess we can let Maine have the freaky-state title for now. haha
PORTLAND, Me., Oct. 17 — The Portland school board on Wednesday approved a measure allowing middle-school students to gain access to prescription birth control medications without notifying parents.
The proposal, from the Portland Division of Public Health, calls for the independently operated health care center at King Middle School to provide a variety of services to students, including immunizations and physical checkups in addition to birth-control medications and counseling for sexually transmitted diseases, said Lisa Belanger, an administrator for Portland’s student health centers.
All but two members of the 12-person committee voted to approve the plan.
i wrote this in light of my birthday, which is TODAY!!! yay!!! but it’s not finished. and honestly, i don’t even know or remember what i wrote. so whatever!
© 10/17/07, 11:36 P
Another year will have passed
As soon as this light breaks thru the dawn
But when the clock strikes midnight,
I will belong
To private thoughts
& past lives
Each passing thru the last line
I recited
& I’ll ask why
I’ve been invited to breathe again
Now, don’t mean to seem ungrateful
But I don’t wanna pretend
That I’m better than the others and
I don’t wanna contend w/ another
ME
‘Cause I do believe in another dream
And I wanna perceive all I can be
Said, I wanna break down these
Invisible barriers that build me up then break me down
‘Cause I refuse to let molehills turn into mounds
I can’t conquer
No longer
An adolescent
Yet not quite at the present
I had hoped to be at
& I ain’t tryin’ to be the last
One to arrive at the finish line
Oh no, I’ll even Carpe Diem the silver lining myself
‘Cause I’ve only settled for the Top Shelf
That’s right, baby
I know my worth
So I’ll put in work
Whenever, wherever, & however I have to
If it means ensuring the path to
My ultimate goal
So many things I’ve been told
By so many so-called wise men
Yeah, but I can differentiate the lies and
I pick & choose who & what I want in my life
‘Cause ain’t nobody but I
At the end of the day
It’s true, I’ve got loved ones,
But even they’d turn away
From me if it really got down to it
So why fool myself into believing that
Things would ever be any different?
10/13/07 – 6:51 PM
I was @ my dad’s house last night. Got some Seven jeans. Ate dinner. Did some homework on my term paper. Talked to Xander. He said some interesting shit. Said he was crazy. Said he could feel his brain throb when he’d learned too much. Told me about astronomy & the universe — or actually, about the universes. Said our universe would collide with Andromeda in about a million (or was it a billion?) years, but neither universe would be destroyed. Instead, they would combine. Wow. Can you believe that that came from an 8-year-old’s mouth? Haha and he also said this:
If you wish for something, and it comes true, it’s bad.
I asked him why it was bad. He told me:
Because you might end up going back further than when you wished for it. And if it comes true, then it’s like you never really wished for it.
Damn. He never ceases to amaze me.
Oh yeah, we also talked about God. He said he didn’t believe in the Bible, but he prays to God — God being the statue of Buddha in the living room. & he also told me that dad gets mad at him for praying to Buddha. That sucks. But oh well. I mean, it doesn’t suck that he’s leaning more toward becoming a Buddhist. I think that’s beautiful. But it sucks that my dad doesn’t like that he prays to Buddha, instead of the catholic God. (sigh) Too bad, father. But at least your son has faith.
One more thing — he told me he had a dream where he saw his name spelled out like this:
Jeezee
He also said that, in the dream, he was — no, he KNEW he was Jesus Christ.
It makes me wonder — no, it makes me CERTAIN: we are all born of Jesus Christ/God.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
